no one ever.
oh my god.
I think I want to be a nurse.
But i’m in a bachelor of Arts.
And i’m so incredibly terrible when it comes to math.
I understand that many people are devastated about Rae and Finn breaking up. I also understand that they are devastated that there was little Finn exposure in episode 3. The thing is, however, that this show deals with a girl with multifaceted problems. Perhaps not exactly your normal girl, but a girl that many of us feel a connection to and can relate to on some level. I will be the first one to admit that there is ALWAYS that one line/scene in an episode that strikes a nerve. I usually find myself sobbing because I see myself clearly - acutely - in Rae during those few minutes. It’s almost as if I am absorbed into the show and I replace the protagonist. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a nice feeling. It’s quite painful most of the time. In saying that, it’s almost therapeutic. Kind of like popping a huge blister on your foot to temporarily alleviate the pressure.
Anyway, back to my unpopular opinion: I’m glad Finn and Rae have broken up. Yes, a small part of me is waiting anxiously for both of them to make up and become a couple again, but I know in my heart it’s not the right thing to do. If I put myself in Rae’s shoes, I understand where she’s coming from. I don’t see the point of being with someone if you can’t ‘be with them’ wholly and truly. Now, I don’t mean sex. I mean feeling comfortable with them. I mean being able to talk to them about anything without worrying that they will suddenly say something nasty or think you’re weird or decide to leave you.
Before you die hard Finn fans begin to chase me with pitchforks, I’m not blaming Finn (well, entirely). I get it that he’s just a teenage boy. He doesn’t know how to support Rae as her boyfriend given her special circumstances - which makes sense. Yeah, he’s able to see more of Rae than just her looks, but he’s still your average guy who finds difficulty in conversing. And that right there is the crux of the problem! Here you have two teenagers. One battles with self hatred each day. Each time someone laughs, she always know it relates to her. She desperately wants to sink into the walls and become as inconspicuous as possible, but that’s kind of hard when you have a larger - than - average body. And the thing is, part of Rae wants to talk to Finn about her problems, but most of her wants to ignore their existence. It doesn’t help that Finn constantly reinforces how great it is that Rae is ‘normal’ and etc. I’m sure he doesn’t use it as a tactic to avoid discussing Rae’s problems. In fact, Finn is just a clueless boy who just likes Rae because of who she is. Finn just sees a happy, bubbly and down to earth girl who he loves spending time with. Rae loves the microcosm that they both create when they’re together. It’s her safe haven. She doesn’t want to disrupt it. Ultimately, She decides to break up so that her suffering is considerably less than if Finn was to choose to break up with her. Rae fears Finn’s rejection above everything else. It’s almost as if she’s weighing her worth and potential to be happy in a beauty-obsessed world on him. In her self doubting, immature teenage mind, Finn is her be-all end-all.
If Finn and Rae are to be together, Rae needs to begin to really accept herself. That’s not done overnight. Believe me. She needs to be able to confront Finn and tell him the truth about everything. Finn needs to learn to be more open with Rae. Rather than just accept Rae’s negative behavior and isolation, he should sit down with her and actively try to figure out the reasons behind it all. I’m not saying that they should discuss every single problem or fear. I’m just saying that rather than just accepting their isolation and sadness, both Rae and Finn need to rip off the metaphorical bandaid and start confronting each other. (Perhaps confronting is not the right word but you know what I mean).
In brief terms: Rae and Finn are not mature or confident enough to be in a positive relationship right now. They should talk more and stop avoiding problems.
(And so begins the attempt to learn every little thing about it)
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